Chapter 1: Atsuro

One afternoon, Atsuro the polar bear woke up and barely opened his right eye while forcing his left eye to open. Everything felt calming; there were no thoughts, just mere confusion. The reality of life had not kicked in yet. Maybe he needed a double espresso shot to bring him to his senses.

Before he finally got up, he was already feeling tired. His body was stiff and the back of his right shoulder ached. He must have slept too long, or maybe in the wrong position. But that was okay, he was a strong polar bear and such puny pain carried no weight, Atsuro thought. Shortly after, he realised that one of his paws was numb too, which had probably got trapped under his belly while he was taking his sweet nap.

Maybe I should stretch, that might help, it always helps. Always. If I stretch for long enough the stiffness will go away and I will feel back to normal and my body will work how it's supposed to.

But WHY do I still feel so sleepy? Hadn't I slept enough?

Maybe not.

He finally gave rest to his thoughts and tried to get up. Both of his eyes were now fully open. Right before getting up, he looked around by moving his eyeballs from where he lay. Everything looked dark. Dark?

That doesn't make sense. How can it be dark here? I live on the edge of the earth where the sun never really sets. My world is supposed to be filled with light, so where does this darkness come from? Why can't I see the light?

He lifted his head and realised he was buried under snow. A thick blanket of snow covered him like a soft blanket of warmth. Snow had filled his cave entirely and he was lucky that somehow he was able to breathe, or else his story would have ended here.

Somehow, his cave filled with snow and barely providing him air to breathe felt peaceful to him. The silence, the darkness, and the pain he felt made him feel closer to home. He felt safe. Warm. Comfortable. Maybe too comfortable, so that somewhere in his heart he didn't want to leave it.

His stomach growled. He was hungry. It was finally time for him to get up and look for some food.

Using all his strength, he pushed the snow away, slowly freeing himself, thinking this wasn't the hardest thing he had ever done. He used all his strength to get up, uncovering himself from the blanket.

He scraped through the ice to reach the entrance of his cave and pushed his body to break the final wall of ice keeping him from the light. He stepped out of his cave, shaking his body and sending bits of ice flying from his fur. Some pieces clung stubbornly, but he didn't care. They'd fall off eventually, like everything else does.

This is good. I missed this.

He felt better. Lighter. The first few hours after waking up were always the best part of the day. He looked around. Pearl-white snow stretched endlessly in every direction, glowing under the sunlight. It looked as though the whole planet had been wrapped in quiet beauty.

Isn't this the most beautiful place on earth? he whispered to himself.

He started walking, eager to explore. But after only a couple of miles, he stopped. Something felt off. Was he forgetting something? He couldn't seem to remember. And yet he was sure there was something important he was supposed to do.

Walking a few miles had made him tired already, while forcing himself to remember what he had forgotten drained him mentally.

Feeling tired, he decided to sit beside a pile of ice, letting it block the wind on one side. He didn't like strong winds, as they had the power to change courses. Sitting down, he looked at his paws. His nails were long and roughed up. His fur looked dirty, with stains that had almost become permanent. His arms and legs had become skinny too.

I should probably do something about all of this. But I just woke up. There's a long day ahead. I will have time.

As he thought about taking care of himself, another train of thought entered his mind. Who was going to notice? There was no one around. No one to impress. The world should accept him for who he was on the inside and not how he looked on the outside.

What a great thought, he smiled to himself. He must have been a philosopher in his previous life.

While he was entertaining his philosophical thoughts, another thread slipped into his mind.

Why am I alone?

Where is my family?

And where is my beloved wife?

He didn't remember seeing them when he woke up, nor could he remember where they were.

As he said these things aloud, the threads of thought tangled within his mind and he started panicking. His chest tightened, fear crept in, his breath became short and his hands began shivering. At that point nothing made sense to him.

Where is everyone? Are they safe? Did something happen to them?

He forced himself to breathe, calming himself down and thinking of where everyone could be. They must be nearby.

He got up and rushed back toward his cave. Even though he was running this time, the distance seemed to have increased. As soon as he reached the cave, he looked around. But there was no one, no movement, no sound. Just the silence of the most beautiful place in the world.

Something happened. I am sure of it.

He searched for footprints, hoping to track them. Even a fading scent could help him find them. While searching, his heartbeat began to rise, to a point where he could sense the palpitation in his entire body.

After taking a couple of rounds around his cave, he finally sat down in front of it. This time he wasn't looking out towards the wide land of ice and sunshine but towards his cave, which was narrow and dark.

Where is everyone?

Why am I alone?

Why can't I find them?

He howled. But the echo faded shortly. He felt weak, while his thoughts felt strong.

In the midst of all these thoughts, he remembered what he had been trying to remember in the first place.

He was hungry. He had come out to eat. That was what he had forgotten. But how could he eat now? This wasn't the time to think about food. Besides, he didn't feel hungry anymore.

Turning his thoughts back to his family, he tried to remember harder. When was the last time he had seen his parents?

After pushing his brain to its limit, he finally managed to form an image of the last time he saw them. It was a rainy day and the sun was burning high. There was water everywhere and barely any ice left to stand on.